Some of life's little lessons

If "it's" in the floor, it's mine!
Don't leave your chin unprotected, unless it's OK for me to bite it!
When you have to go, you have to go...even if it's 5 AM
Newspaper is for chewing into little bitty pieces and then distributed randomly over the entire floor.
If I'm not supposed to 'go there, do that' then that's what I'm gonna do every time.
It's a rule, go outside, do my thing, then come back inside and pee on the floor...got to maintain control of the situation.
Dirt clumps are to be chewed on, walnut hulls are mine unless you can catch me and
get them out of my mouth.
The whole yard is mine, I'm getting much bigger now and I'm not afraid to roam a little farther.
What do you mean...come inside... I wanna chew on the lavender and check out the flowers in the front yard first.
OK. I peed, I pooped, I'm sitting...where the heck is my treat?  What...no treat because the lavender called me and I didn't come...well heck!
What, that stupid thing is getting hooked on my collar again... what puppy can poop when you are only 10 feet away!  Got to find the perfect spot you know.
It's not nice to leave me in my crate, I don't like it one little bit.  G'pa will just have to do without you...I'm more important.
What! I'm already out of food?...you'll just have to take your butt to the store and get me some...you wanted a puppy (or not), feed me.
Sleep?  What's that...I just nap a little...  after I've torn up the place playing.
Laughter is good for you...so you're laughing so hard you can't breathe... I can't help it if I'm so darn cute.